Steph and Damian - Love on a Rooftop

Every so often, I meet a couple who make me laugh and laugh and laugh.  Meetings reserved for wedding planning somehow morph into lengthy discussions about Tuscany, Cuban jazz, wineries, vegetarian lasagne and Golden Retrievers, for example.   This was the case when I first met with Steph and Damian.  We clicked before we'd even ordered our coffee.

When I learned that Steph and Damian had chosen to hold their ceremony in the Harbour Room at the Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron, I was not at all surprised.  A Friday evening rooftop ceremony in trendy St Kilda seemed a perfect choice for this exuberant couple.  When they informed me that they'd also booked the über-talented and downright hilarious John Warren of Warrenphotography, and the super cool musicians from The White Tree, I was certain we were going to have a fabulous time.

Steph, radiant in her Mariana Hardwick gown, entered the rooftop on the arm of her proud father to The White Tree's rendition of Snow Patrol's Lifening.  Much like her usual self, she smiled and laughed the entire way.

We began by introducing all the people who had made a marked impact on Steph and Damian's lives.  Three such people were invited to come forward and present readings.  One of the readings was taken from a Bruce Springsteen song.

If I Should Fall Behind

 

We said we’d walk together, come what may
That come the twilight, should we lose our way
If as we’re walking a hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you.
And should I fall behind wait for me.

We swore we’d travel darling side by side
We’d help each other stay in stride.
But each lover’s steps fall so differently
I'll wait for you.
And should I fall behind wait for me.

Now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do.
So let's make our steps clear that the other may see
And I'll wait for you.
If I should fall behind, wait for me.

Now there's a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There beneath the oaks bough soon we will be wed.
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
Darling I’ll wait for you.
And should I fall behind wait for me.

I then had the great pleasure of recounting their first meeting at the Corner Hotel; whereby Damian keenly pursued Steph.. and her plate of nachos, the hilarious case of mistaken identity on their first date at The Black Cat, Damian's many proposal hurdles, and their numerous and varied idiosyncrasies.  Needless to say, their stories had us in stitches.

Damian and Steph composed their own vows.  Their exchange was sincere and joyful.

 

"... Steph, I will cherish the happiness married life bestows upon us, and hope that one day we can raise a family who we will unconditionally love and support, just as we will each other..."

"... Damian, I look forward to growing together, learning more about you and falling in love a little more every day..." 

Steph and Damian's parents and grand parents participated in a ring warming ceremony.  Each person held the rings and made a silent wish or prayer for Steph and Damian in their marriage. The rings were then brought forward, having been symbolically warmed by their wishes.

Rings were exchanged and certificates signed, all the while this happy couple laughed, kissed and smiled. 

The ceremony concluded with a toast to the newlyweds, a huge cheer ...

yet another kiss...

.... and you guessed it!

Steph and Damian, I loved that every aspect of your ceremony reflected your relaxed style and bright personalities. Your good humour and laughter is infectious, as is your positive outlook on life.  Lucky am I to have enjoyed your ever-cheerful company. Keep laughing!

Sally Hughes

Authorised Marriage Celebrant

The Words & Music Company

Photography: Warrenphotography

Venue: The Harbour Room

Musicians: The White Tree

Steph's gown: Mariana Hardwick

Nicole & William's Black Tie Celebration

Nicole and William were a dream to work with.  Easy going and genuinely lovely, I looked forward to each meeting.  And so you can imagine my disappointment for them when they realised that their NGV garden ceremony would occur at the very time Formula One racing cars would take to the nearby Grand Prix track.  Needless to say, exchanging vows to the piercing sound of F1 engines was not the soundtrack they had in mind for their ceremony!  Fortunately, they were able to reschedule the date and fortunately for me, retain their celebrant!

And so, a week earlier than originally planned, Nicole and William's black tie ceremony in the Grollo Equiset Garden at the National Gallery of Victoria took place.  Stylishly attired guests arrived to the music of the Baker Boys Band and excitedly awaited Nicole's entrance.

And what an entrance it was!  It was one i'll never forget.  Though Nicole and William were supported by a bridal party of eight, all attendants mingled with guests prior to the ceremony before taking their seats in the front row. Then a lone bagpiper, Lachlan McKenzie, entered the garden playing the Highland Cathedral.  Nicole and her proud father David followed him along the long and winding path.  The combination of a beautiful, beaming bride and the arresting sound of the bag pipes commanded everyone's full attention.  

During the ceremony Nicole, resplendent in a figure-hugging Bernadette Pimenta Couture silk and lace gown with cowl neck, and a very dapper William, wearing a Hugo Boss black suit, only had eyes for each other.  Their joy at being married was obvious to all.

  

It was important to Nicole and William that all loved ones actively participate in their ceremony.  I therefore asked all family members to stand and offer their blessing and pledge their support for the marriage.  Following this, I invited their friends to stand and offer theirs.   

After sharing stories about the happy and rewarding journey Nicole and William have made together,  their siblings then came forward and presented readings. One of which was Edmund O'Neill's Marriage Is A Promise Of Love.

Marriage is a commitment to life - to the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth no other human relationship can equal, a physical and emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.

Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. There may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller; memories are fresher; commitment is stronger; even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life.

When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique to themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfill.

"William, I give you this ring, that you may wear it, as a symbol of the vows we have made on this day."

After exchanging rings and sincere and romantic vows I had the honour of declaring them to be husband and wife.  I loved seeing just how happy they were at that moment in the ceremony.

We signed the marriage certificates without a musical accompaniment, the silence punctuated only by laughter and good wishes from guests.

Congratulations Mr and Mrs B.  Two gracious, kind-hearted and thoroughly lovely people.  You are quite clearly, perfectly suited. 

Sally Hughes
Authorised Marriage Celebrant
The Words & Music Company


Photography:  Glenn McCulloch Photography
Venue: Grollo Equiset Garden, National Gallery of Victoria
Musicians: Baker Boys Band & Lachlan McKenzie
Nicole's Gown: Bernadette Pimenta Couture
William's Suit: Hugo Boss

Do We Really Need An Order Of Service?

From time to time I'm asked by couples if it's generally expected that they provide their guests with an order of service.  You know, the booklet or card often distributed by ushers to guests prior to the ceremony, otherwise known as a ceremony program.  My answer?  "Take it or leave it."   Given that the duration of a civil ceremony is usually 30 minutes, guests don't necessarily need one.  Over half the ceremonies I conduct don't include them.  

Warrenphotography

By comparison, the duration of religious ceremonies is generally longer than civil ceremonies, often lasting for an hour or more.  So giving guests, especially those who are likely to be unfamiliar with the content of a specific religious ceremony, an idea of what to expect can be a good idea.

For example, have you ever attended a Macedonian Orthodox wedding and had absolutely no idea of what was being said?  I remember standing in an Orthodox Church many years ago, watching rituals such as the Crowning, the procession around the sacramental table and seeing almonds being thrown about, having no appreciation of the meaning behind each ritual.  The fact the ceremony was conducted almost entirely in Macedonian didn't help either!  An order of service with a brief description of each ritual, or translations of each reading, would have been a welcome offering.

But that's me.  I enjoy learning about religious and cultural rituals.  Others may simply view an order of service as a guide by which they can, dare I say it, "determine how much longer there is to go".  I mean no disrespect in this regard, but a poll of my peers (many of them monolingual and non-religious), over many years and many weddings, confirms this sentiment.

An order of service can enhance the overall styling of a wedding.  They can help to the convey the level of formality (or fun!) you are trying to achieve before the ceremony has begun.

They can serve a practical purpose too.  I've seen some include hand drawn maps, guiding guests to the reception venue and directing them to the location of the barbeque being held the following day.

Some were printed on fans, which were a welcome gift during warm weather.

Katie Stoops Photography

Shannon and Brad incorporated a little pocket on the back of their booklet.  In the pocket was a tissue and underneath, the inscription "A tissue for your tears", which was very well received on the day.

Melissa and David inserted a crossword puzzle for their guests to complete (not during the ceremony, mind you!).  I mentioned prior to the ceremony that the answers would be revealed during the ceremony and that a prize would be awarded during the reception.    Again, the guests loved the idea (and I've since shared that idea with many of my couples!).

The Words & Music Company

Of course, the order of service can also list family members, the bridal party and other participants, such as your celebrant and musicians.  It can also include specific requests, such as refraining from taking photos or throwing rose petals or inviting guests to take a container of bubbles (should your ushers, preoccupied with handing out booklets, fail to distribute them!).  They can include a note of thanks to all guests.

The Words & Music Company

And so, if I’ve managed to inspire you, and if you have the time and the creative energy to produce one (they’re usually relegated to the bottom of the “to do” list), please consider this advice: Don’t list too many ceremony details.  I believe a simple running order is far better than writing paragraphs of information.  If your vows are included in the order of service, guests will most likely read along, rather than observing one of the most important and memorable moments in your ceremony.  You should consider that most guests will read them prior to the ceremony too!  Humorous vows obviously lose their impact if guests read ahead (and I promise you, they will).  Similarly, guests aren't likely to sit and enjoy the performance aspect of a reading or ritual if they have the text in front of them.  View them more as a keepsake than a script.

And should I ever spy a lone order of service, abandoned on a chair or pew, you can bet your bottom dollar it won’t remain there.  I’m always looking to share creative ideas with couples.. and I quite like a keepsake!

Sally Hughes
Melbourne Marriage Celebrant
The Words & Music Company

Rhea & Ben - A Class Act

There is some merit in the theory that you can meet the love of your life at a wedding.  Rhea and Ben first met at a wedding on Hayman Island.  They caught one another's eye, however barely spoke.  The following year, when Rhea's mum Liz needed a lawyer, Ben came to mind.  Rhea contacted Ben and a meeting was arranged.  Their meeting was brief, however Liz believes she witnessed an undeniable connection that day, and understandably takes the bulk of the credit for Ben and Rhea's union!

Ben continued to assist Liz, though without charge.  When Rhea eventually learned of Ben's generosity she sent him a message of thanks.  In addition to her words of gratitude, Rhea mentioned that she was single.  Ben invited her to dinner and so began a relationship that would, within a year, lead to a highly romantic marriage proposal, and later, the birth of their beautiful son William and a romantic, joyful and beautifully styled wedding ceremony.

Ben and Rhea were married at Carousel by Albert Park Lake.  The ceremony was first intended to be held outdoors on the deck, however 43 degree heat necessitated a welcome move indoors.  With the comfort of their guests assured, and concerns about the condition of the many hundred David Austin roses put to rest, Ben mingled happily with family and friends awaiting the arrival of his bride.  The pre ceremony period was underscored by an impressive performance by Ruby Strings.

Despite the intense heat, Rhea, dressed in a Suzanne Harward French silk and lace couture gown, was all smiles when she arrived. Attended by her brother Prabesh, Rhea, together with her bridesmaids, entered to a performance of Pachelbel's stately and sentimental Canon in D Major. 

Rhea and Ben received the blessing of Rhea's mother and brother, before Liz stepped forward with their adorable five month old son William to read a sweet and humorous children's story; The Lovely Dinosaur by Edward Monkton.  Rhea and Ben's faces instantly lit up when their little boy was brought forward.

After telling the story of their meeting (the reaction from Ben's business partner and Groomsman Darren was priceless when he learned that Ben hadn't billed his hours of work for Rhea's mum!), Ben's friend Richard presented the final reading; 'Union' from The Beginning To End by Robert Fulgham.

Ben and Rhea recited vows they had composed themselves.  They were romantic and reflective and delivered with touching sincerity and a hint of humour.  

"..I previously thought that a partner needs to accept you however you are and whatever you do, but you've shown me that relationships take time, effort and sacrifice,  and if you do these things with love and kindness in your heart, the rewards are beyond compare..."

".. I vow to be honest, caring and truthful.  I vow to love you for eternity, respecting you, honouring you and growing old with you until we have to carry each other's walking sticks."
 

After my very happy task of declaring Ben and Rhea to be husband and wife, we were entertained by Ruby Strings's renditions of J.S Bach's Air (Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D Major) and Mancini's Moon River.

Ben and Rhea's introduction for the first time as Mr and Mrs Skinner was met with an enormous cheer.  As they walked down the aisle, hand in hand, to the tune of Bittersweet Symphony, it was clear that they were a much loved and respected couple - qualities I identified the moment I met them.   

Congratulations Rhea and Ben.  Your kindness and relaxed attitudes made planning and presenting your ceremony so enjoyable.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  Have a wonderful life. xx

Sally Hughes
Authorised Marriage Celebrant
The Words & Music Company

Photography: Warrenphotography
Venue: Carousel
Styling: Intique & Co
Musicians: Ruby Strings
Rhea's gown: Suzanne Harward 
Ben's suit: Hugo Boss